Monday, October 27, 2014
Are You Overusing the Word No?
Some people have a problem saying no to people, situations, or obligations because they are afraid to be seen as "not nice." These "yes" people often over-commit themselves and then feel worn down and unappreciated at the end of the day.
It is a skill to learn how to say no and mean it. People pleasers must learn how to say yes only when they truly want to. They must say no and not feel guilty afterwards.
As someone who is the oldest child, I was relied upon for almost everything growing up. This then lead to me feeling like I needed to be there for, and fix everything for, everyone. When friends or family asked anything of me the answer was almost always yes. Yes, even if I was exhausted or sick, and I'd get angry about.
I too had to learn how to say no. On the flip side, sometimes when it comes to ourselves, "yes" people say no too often.
Are you saying:
No to a job interview with a new company because you're afraid of leaving your current job?
No to a first date because your last relationship ended horribly?
No to relocating to a new city because you are afraid of the economy?
No to a night out with friends because you fear rejection?
No to going back to school because you think you will fail?
It is important to know when you are saying no, because you really do not want something, and when you are just holding yourself back.
Don't let fear make you stay in a constant state of misery. Practice saying no more often to what you do not want, and YES to new opportunities and adventures!